Pixiv suspended me.....12,000 supporters gone....

Before I begin I'd like to at least thank everyone who
was with me on Pixiv and stayed loyal ever since or was even a supporter back when I was on Deviant art as some of you have followed me from there on Pixiv after I was kicked off in 2015 or 2016 I don't remember what year it was I officially parted ways with that platform. When it comes down to loyalty it is something I don't take for granted, EVER. I honor and treasure it and it goes with me to the grave.

However I am very sadden by what happened so I decided to vent, despite I reached out to Pixiv over this wrongful termination matter... Whether they give the account back to me or terminate it completely in a matter of hours when I can no longer log back into it, as I can still log in and send them messages (I can't post any new art) which I tried to do before it completely disappears. I do know all the art I had there is gone the gallery totally wiped clean......I'm going to vent and pour out my soul anyway because right now I don't feel like doing anything else...

Today I would like to inform everyone that I will be discontinuing creating my graphic novels and comics...Pixiv has officially suspended me and I have no stronger following anywhere else...Pixiv was all I had as far as having the most support goes. Earlier yesterday I posted an image featuring several women witches which they asked me to remove because it could be in "violation of Article 14" clearly I took the image down soon as they brought it to my attention which was like 1 second after I posted it and got that warning. So I asked them about this...and I waited all day for them to respond to me.

After that, they just sent me a message this evening notifying that my image was in violation of their TOS policy accusing me of using real photographs of people which I clearly did not....They removed all of my art, so now my gallery is blank.....I've got nothing listed there. I told them before that I never used real life pictures I don't even use AI either.....I never realized that the Japanese would turn out as bad as the West in terms of dealing with content but they robbed me of everything suspending me the way they did.... 

I've been with that platform for many years and have tried my damnest to avoid breaking their policies but unfortunately since two or so years ago the place changed a lot.... They became more and more westernized in every way..... I don't even believe Japan really owns it anymore. At least they don't appear to, the policies they have now sound like the West wrote them. Even the way it's all worded doesn't come off as something the Japanese themselves would have written.

 I do know that Japan is still under the strangle hold of the banks in the West that uses it's finances to control and threaten what people are allowed to do... And this have always been a problem. Although I was hit for "realism" reasons.....Which I thought I had resolved this with Pixiv before after contacting them and explaining everything a few weeks ago when they assured me everything was okay. So I thought we had an understanding. When websites like Pixiv decide to turn their backs on their users, it becomes official and they never change their minds....Artist such as this are currently under attack for "realism" > 
Because the Japanese staff of Pixiv claim "We can't tell if it's real or not."

Just look at Tumblr even today, it was a few years ago when they chose to betray their own community and ever since then they seem to be okay with not having all that revenue pouring in from the NSFW audience and content creators. There was talk a year or two ago about them allowing NSFW users back, Pornhub wanted to buy the platform which I think wouldn't have made it better. 

Pornhub is garbage, it's also too late for Tumblr to make a comeback anyway they could have done this back in 2018 before people started flooding over to twitter but they waited too long.... People are still hurt over what they did in 2017 and 2018, and when you betray people like that on a massive scale... Who the hell wants to forgive you? Let alone bring back finances to your platform again. 

You obviously chose to side with Apple over the people using the platform that was generating you income in the first place. And while I understand that many of these platforms are just afraid of being cancelled if they don't comply with financial bullies who will threaten to shut them down...But that's still no excuse to turn on everyone and then change your mind after you do it knowing that the consequences are going to be dire whether you betray the people or stand by the corporations.

I thought if I stopped doing certain art Pixiv would ease up and leave me alone....Making that sacrifice itself was difficult because some people got upset with me, like it was my fault I removed a lot of things from Pixiv that the platform was becoming very objective of because of the pressure put on them.  I have no control or authority over how these platforms choose to run things but I am tired of worrying about being suspended from websites.... Years ago there use to be so much more freedom than this.... But all of that have changed and now, nothing is fun anymore, we're all bored, miserable, and tired.

But there are still a lot of artist who of course create art that "violates" their new policy but I did nothing of the sort and still got cancelled.... The fact is, they cancelled me over something not even related to that at all because clearly the image contained old women, there wasn't a single character in that image in violation of their policy. And then there is this thing about "realism" which no other art site I know of have a problem with.

I have no other alternative to grow like I did either..... So I have no choice but to retire....If they do give the account back I won't be able to trust that they won't do it again and make it permanent just to avoid the shame. Deep down the Japanese hate being humiliated, forget all the cuck garbage.... Outside of that , if they feel humiliated they will generally avoid you because they do not like the shame.

These mistakes they keep making is making an ass out of them.... I know artist who were suspended wrongfully and they never got reinstated. Maybe they didn't bother to contact them and make a case out of it, usually I do that myself since that account is important to me but I do my best to resolve problems without raising my voice or yelling since it can just worsen the situation.

 The one thing that really pisses me off is the lying and dishonesty....They told me that my account was safe from being a target because they are aware that I wasn't using real photos of anyone which they've accused a lot of 3D artist of before killing their accounts. I wrote a blog about this a few months ago but deleted it because I trusted them after they apologized and told me I had nothing to worry about... They gained my trust. Then they go back on their word and suspend me over nothing. Why even apologize to me if you're going to betray me? What they did to me was underhanded, and cut-throat.

I see now WHY they also love cuckoldry/NRT and cheating themes so much which is something the West also popularized and why it's such a popular fetish these days among people with poor self esteem...... It promotes betrayal, dishonesty, self defeat, and distrust....How can you expect a platform to stand up for itself and honor it's word when their culture is obsessed with unfaithful behavior and the idea of surrendering and giving up instead of reclaiming what's yours?

As of right now I feel brutally wronged by what happened but there's nothing I can do about it... I have to live with the fact that I got fucked over again. When Tumblr did this to me back in 2017 it was hard starting over. I didn't even want to because I doubted myself, A LOT.

I knew it was going to be rough going from having a lot of followers back to zero again. I didn't think for a second I was going to make it on Pixiv at all when I arrived after getting thrown off Deviant Art and Tumblr all within such short periods of time. I got ignored until I started really improving on a lot of things on Pixiv, before I knew it people started showing lots of interest in my progression as the things I was doing kept getting better. Within 2 years I had 3,000 followers already supporting and it increased more by 40% once I started doing much more challenging things....When I told Steven Carson about the situation with Pixiv he was pissed off with them, especially since they did it to him long before they did it to me. 

                                                       Was it AI's fault for these changes?

But what makes it worse is that they promised and assured that I was safe from this only to lie to me before doing it.... He then says that he's wondering what I plan to do now that I lost my followers and I just told him, I'm retiring because there are no other alternatives for me...It's the only thing I can do since I'm forced to... It's no fun creating art when you have no one to really show it off too, it may not be important to some artist but to me having an audience that cares about your content is definitely important.... And I was already unhappy with the fediverse anyway......

There aren't enough people there that appreciate me for what I do....
It's not a good platform to expand my ideas on either.  Twitter is another platform that would be difficult to succeed on, not enough dark minds lingering around on there. I don't think violence of any kind is allowed on Twitter...Maybe a movie trailer from a horror movie, but that's probably it.

Anyway I spent months working on a graphic novel, three I had plans to sell, and now I lost the most important fanbase I ever had to support any of it. I also believe that you can't force things on people, it's better to just let it all come naturally. Forcing things on people is how the current regime does things... I'm not going to force my ideas on anyone. Generally I create what I have and if people want to support the content they will or they won't. I'm not going to beg anyone to accept my ideas or shame them until they do.

                                             From The Little Red Fox Remake...

I know I'm not welcomed elsewhere so I won't even try anywhere else because there is nowhere else for me to go anymore. Twitter would be a failed attempt before I even tried and I have no interest in watering down my content either. When everyone else went over to Twitter I went to Pixiv, I hated censoring genitalia but I got use to doing it after awhile despite I still hated it. I was already kicked off Deviant Art for "violations" in 2015-2016 so things didn't go too well there either..Now I've lost Pixiv which is even worse, it's only a matter of time before they just remove  the account now that all the images are gone....When I tried to upload some new art and noticed my gallery was empty, my heart sank, I wanted to believe I was in a bad dream only to find out they really did remove all the images I had.

With all the images gone I lost all the likes/favs on them too, including art I bookedmarked also.... 12,000 was a lot of support, most people when they get suspended on Pixiv they try to start over with a new account but I can't do it it's not worth it..... So I won't do it.... It's too hard having to start over from the beginning, 12K? I mean that works for artist who are hugely popular all over twitter, they can easily reclaim back those loses..... IF you're someone like DesireSFM with 80,000,000 views on Pornhub and almost 100,000,000 views on your profile, you can reclaim those loses...

 I can deal with some challenges in life... But I can't deal with liars, being deceived, manipulated, back stabbed, or cheated on in any sort of way. I was so close to finishing something and all week long I was into it..Now my heart isn't in it anymore at all.... Who am I going to share it with that cares as much as the fans did on Pixiv who supported me all these years? When you lose a large number of supporters like that, it's hard to carry on...... I  have lived with a lot of disappointment, but its the major ones that really get to me and take years to get over.

 Scene from my upcoming Graphic novel (now cancelling it) Shadow Hill, Escape From Echida. Harley Quinn chasing Veronica with a sculpting tool. There are words and dialog in these, I just didn't add them yet. It's the non-dialog version since I  keep them just in case I need or want to make changes, corrections. I finished 40 pages, needed 130 before I would sell it. I was just getting to the steamy moments prior to Harley terrorizing Veronica for humiliating her which would have been over 60 pages.

Part of the art I create is how I coped with disappointment, betrayal, and failure in life due to all the problems I had growing up. I always considered my art a way to deal with the disappointments, downsides of reality and frustrations of the real world in general. So it never crossed my mind that the things I was creating or doing with my art was intended to encourage any kinds of conflict or suffrage outside of fiction, if I felt troubled enough I created something to settle my nerves. And really that's what it's always been about aside from wanting to entertain others.

Some things I can deal with in life and just take it... Other things I have mental break downs, and I suffer emotionally from it if I can't get it back. Because it was always difficult meeting people in life that never took advantage of my trust someone always did... Of course Pixiv is a corporation like any other business, and while some companies may value their customers and will try to avoid losing them if possible so long as they can benefit off them..... It doesn't stop some of them from choosing to let people down when they don't need them anymore.

 Before I go I'll probably do a farewell set for the fediverse, I don't get as much joy out of posting there like I did on pixiv, that's because on Pixiv I got recognized a lot more and people often spoke to me about my work sometimes, it felt good knowing they enjoyed it.. I just felt more important on Pixiv than I ever did anywhere else with my work. It was harder on Deviant art, because you had to take risk to get noticed there even breaking a few rules here and there. I didn't have to do that on Pixiv at all, people just loved my content because it was original, different. I felt like I was to some extent going somewhere with my ideas especially when I put most of my effort into the books.

I remember how Deviant Art would just overlook what a lot of the bondage artist had been doing. Somehow my artwork made it easier for them to single me out even though I wasn't really doing much but hardcore pornographic content which they didn't like. One morning I tried to log in and the first thing I noticed was my name crossed out even though the genitalia were censored, they still claimed the sex was "too hardcore". I tried everything to get that account reinstated, when they finally decided not to give it back to me, I blew up on them and left forever.

 I believe its very clear now that without my supporters...I have no way to earn a living from what I do anymore.... That's part of the reason I even went back to making graphic novels and comics again... There was a lot of demands for them. I almost finished two of them this year... Now I don't even want to because there aren't enough people to reach out to with them anymore... 

I'd be a damn idiot relying on the fediverse....And wasting my time when things can just as well easily change there over time.... Well I gave it my best and if this is how it must end with me retiring in 2024.... Then I've lost.  I will have a hard time accepting this loss... A very hard time. Should I blame myself? No.... I didn't do anything wrong. What Pixiv did to me was the finalization and the very end of 12+ years of my work. Somewhere down the line I'll have to get use to all of this disappointment and try not to dwell on it...

 I feel sick today, and I can't sleep constantly logging into Pixiv to see if they replied or not but I don't feel like creating anymore either.... So I have insomnia, staring into the screen thinking.... "Now what do I do?" I'm depressed.....Normally I'm always like this but its the kind of depression a person feels when they've lost something valuable they can't get back. My thing is...I have a hard time being lied to, I have an even harder time with betrayal or dealing with anyone I believe to be a traitor of any sort.

Who would have thought this image would
be the end of me because, "real photographs of real people."
I'm still trying to find the real photographs here in this image I am accused of using.... It's just a bunch of Witches having fun, celebrating their new recruit. And no there isn't a part where the futa gets her dick cut off, in fact it wasn't intended to be violent in that manner. Instead she was getting her sexy nuts teased, the knife touching her balls turns her on. Why do you think she came so hard from it aside from being stroked with leathery gloves? If I met a green haired woman in latex that wanted to tease my nuts with a knife I'd let her do it, so long as she don't really cut it off or stab me down there...Anyway I'm just trying to mask the real pain I feel with shitty humor.....I'm devastated over my losses....Worse, upset that I got lied to before it happened...