I tried to make a comeback on X, then I Gave up.
How do I put this in terms that anyone still reading my blogs can understand? Well, ever since Baraag and it's owner have been struggling to stay alive... Last year the server had went down for a week or two, and this time it happened again but the owner doesn't know when his platform will be back up. It seems as though no one wants to support platforms that allow certain type of artwork, they drag in their anti-fun morals and standards and then use this to censor people right to freedom of expression.
So their own "morals and ethics" become the new TOS policy which is what's affecting Baraag right now, the owner/host is dealing with a lot of anti-freedom types refusing to support his platform even though Baraag's been around for quite a long while. Why are attitudes changing so much? Because the world fucking sucks right now is why... It's like being preached to by some religious fraud but he's secretly having sex with a prostitute behind closed doors.
Although I've wondered for a time now who backs rule34hentai.net because it's another platform that allows the same kind of artwork and from what I can tell they are not having any issues with servers casting them aside because of some horse crap "morals and ethics" about what kind of artwork is "good" and what art is "bad."
It would help if there were more server providers that were respectful of artists rights to freedom of expression. But there aren't that many of them left and regime changes only seem to exist when a platform allows something and then the rules/policy flips when it gets a new host or the owner decides to backstab everyone... I can remember a time when Hentai-Foundry use to be a cool platform that allowed everything artistic, they were very laid back and way ahead of their time.
Then the regime change thing happened, they got a new host that brought in his bitch like Pro-censorship policies that turned the place upside down. You can't even have a sexual image in your avatar/icon on HF either! This is a pornographic art website mind you and it's making these asinine rules about not allowing you to have any explicit images as your avatar...
I use to have an explicit image as my avatar on HF for years, then all of a sudden last year when I finally try to change it to something else explicit related I get a message from one of the bitchy moderators telling me that they removed it because it's not allowed...
HF has truly become a dickless art platform, and a goddamn joke over the years with their arrogant elitist mentality where they openly reject people's work on grounds that it doesn't meet their biased "quality standards." It's something that's only directed toward 3D artists, but never any of the 2D artwork including the poorly drawn art. So pretty much they are just judgmentally biased toward 3D artists for some damn reason and I never understood why. I was going to tell the mod off for removing my avatar image because I got mad about it, but then I cooled my jets... It wasn't worth it... But whether it's the uptight bank overlords or even payment processors like paypal, they all have one thing in common and that's censorship.
Since I have nowhere else to post any of my artwork now, I tried to see what I could offer up on X... Once I uploaded a few of my images, two hours went by and nobody showed any interest so I felt depressed about it... My confidence sank and there was this overwhelming sense of unpleasantness telling me that my artwork just wasn't "good enough" by twitter/X standards. I follow a few artists there, and don't know what their secret is to getting so many followers... Maybe they were there for many years until they made progress and I'm just in a hurry to get noticed. It's still too early to say whether or not my content would catch on...
I guess I'm just impatient and don't want to spend a whole lot of time trying to rebuild.... Musk doesn't even allow you to add tags in your images which usually makes your content easier to find on other websites that allow you to tag your work. So if someone types in "futanari" chances are they'll run into your content. Without the tagging method it's hard to say how the hell people even get noticed on Twitter/X unless it's based on how many people reboost the content like how it was with Tumblr...
Anytime DesireSFM liked something or boosted it on tumblr even stuff I was making at the time that looked kind of awful in terms of lighting, I'd still get over 200+ plus new followers by the minute... It was like having some world known celebrity following you around and then everyone else wants to follow you because that famous person appreciated your content.
I tried to create the most Twitter approved material I could come up with, so none of it involved sexual violence, and no one looked "underage" it was just femdom erotica with some smell fetish thrown in such as the image above with the sexy dominant Indian dick woman getting her dirty smelly cock blown by an aroused Claire who can't stop inhaling that vicious wild violent musky smell and Jill goes for the feet even though I'm not a feet fetishist or very fond of the kink itself.
I've posted some of my Sadako artwork, and a few other images I thought would be okay to host there. I pulled out a lot of images I had I wasn't too sure if I wanted to host it on Twitter without first making satisfactory corrections to the images, because once you post it on Twitter/X you have to be committed to it in order to not lose the followers/likes unless you pay for the membership to edit the work....It's a dick move on Musk's part.
With Twitter/X I would have to reduce and limit myself as to what I can and cannot create... So I have struggled with finding something that I could rely on as a starting point, because I don't know exactly what to create and showcase on X/Twitter. None of my Horror Erotic ideas would work there, and it sucks making characters like Sadako "nice" and "gentle." She's suppose to be scary and terrifying so I prefer if she were involved in sexual violent encounters only where she's the predatory figure in the image. A lot of male on female artist have outright ruined Sadako. And I don't want to contribute to destroying a great horror character. Therefore I'd be very limited to what I can come up with on X and that would be too difficult.
Without having the right to fully express myself, art is just painfully boring and isn't any kind of fun. I have a wild and crazy imagination and if I'm not free to express this, I'm going to feel severely oppressed and art is just one of those things I feel never should be suppressed or censored by any means. It helps people in my situation to deal with their mental health problems when they can just unleash their full potential.
And then there is that issue where I can't edit or change an image if I need to fix any mistakes unless I pay for a shitty premium on X in order to have my account fully verified... Therefore if I upload anything I have to be committed to leaving it there or else I run the risk of losing all the likes on the image if I have to take it down to make corrections... Pixiv had this same garbage system where you couldn't edit or make changes to an image without deleting it completely unless you pay for a premium in order to use that feature without losing any likes or favs on the image. I am highly known for removing images I have my doubts about that I wish to improve if I somehow don't like the way it looks....Other than that, X is all about popularity... So unless someone comes along that everyone knows who is willing to boost your work you will get hardly any support... I know I haven't been on the platform long enough and sometimes it takes at least about a year or few months before a lot of people begin to notice you on these kind of platforms. Not all of them are like this, sometimes you may get lucky and start racking up attention immediately...Thing is, I don't have a lot of acceptable artwork to promote on X, a lot of my ideas are very extreme and I prefer to keep it that way. I have no desire to self censor myself or limit my ideas to bland generic shit which I see a lot of from many artists posting content on Twitter/X... After I lost Deviant Art, then tumblr, after tumblr it was Pixiv, and now Baraag which is barely able to keep itself from being abandoned by hosting servers... With the way things are going it's only a matter of time before Koi the owner of Baraag is forced to close the whole platform down. Once that happens, there really won't be elsewhere left for artist searching for true freedom of expression to go...
I know that it's not the host of Baraag's fault that everyone else is being a piss ass little bitch about all of this fictional stuff. For me I can't keep starting over from scratch... I'm just way too tired to keep starting over from the very beginning. There's no telling when or if Elon will pull the plug on all the explicit content creators on his own platform... He's getting a lot of hate thrown at him lately for things he's doing that people aren't too pleased with.
Maybe he likes the negative attention, I don't know... I just don't want to spend another year trying to rebuild and then losing everything... I may just create artwork in privacy now as a hobby... It won't be much fun not having an audience to showcase any of it to, and I'll feel a lot less motivated to do anything like a graphic or comic because the only person who would be reading it is me...There just wouldn't be much of a point to sit here for days working on something major like that. Having a big crowd use to motivate and challenge me to do better.
What really bothers me though is that I haven't gotten the opportunity to accomplish enough with my work. Before Pixiv kicked me off two or three years ago (yes it really has been that long). I was back into creating graphic novels and comics again because I had all these great ideas planned for major projects I just couldn't wait to get out there... Ideas I'm always thinking about... Once I lost my supporting block I tried to rethink how could I fix all of this with a lower tier platform like Baraag...
How do I go from 12,000 to only 1K for the past two years and just accepting that? Yes it's almost at 2000K now but look how long it's taking to even reach that many followers. I already had about 1,000 within the first year of posting on Pixiv once my ideas got more and more thrilling it appealed to a broader demographic. At first I did poorly, but it didn't take me two years to get 1000K followers... Within 6 years I had at least 12,000 and I could have had more than that if I were still there... Losing so much progress gave me a lot to think about.... Just like I lost my job back in 2015... If I were still working there, I could have had about $100,000 or more saved up. I found a new job the year afterwards only to get really sick and was forced to leave.
It was really all I had left and I remember saying that this time if I lose another platform, that would be the end of it for me... I only gave X/Twitter a shot because I wanted to see how well my artwork would do on a much bigger platform. A few weeks ago I met at least one person from Spain that was interested in a huge commission because he wanted a graphic novel. It would have been the single most expensive commission I ever did and it would have been the last one... I don't have it in me to fight endless censorship wars... I'm just too tired, depressed, and sick... I really feel like walking death most of the time.
As an artist who enjoys Horror erotica and thrillers (not everything I create are centered around those two genres), it would make no sense for me to rely on X/Twitter if I can't create whatever I want there. I would be forced to limit the type of content I'm allowed to create, and then having to spend money supporting that same crappy platform that infringes on my right to freedom of expression in the first place just to make use of all of it's features which makes even less sense. You can't even type no more than a few words on X, it's even worse than baraag when it comes down to the amount of things you can write... You get about 300 free words to type out, once you reach that limit you have to upgrade.
Sometimes I like to attach music songs to my work or short stories if it's not in the comic book/graphic novel format because I use to do this a lot on Pixiv, they at least gave you 3,000 words to work with. There's a lot of things I can't do on Twitter.... I'm a very experimental person, I like to experiment with ideas to see if something works, what doesn't work... Then I replace any idea that may not resonate very well with me.
Musk is always talking about how X is all about free speech, but this has been proven to be rather false... People get suspended for all kinds of bullshit speech violation protocols. If X wanted to truly be a free speech platform, it would have to allow artists the right to post whatever they wanted no matter who it offends. It would have to acknowledge that all forms of art must be protected under freedom of speech and expression laws if such laws even exist.
So far the only thing I've been doing now is creating art for myself in private the moment baraag stopped functioning... It's very boring creating just for my own eyes... Without a platform to host on, my work might as well not exist...But just like I told my therapist and the psychologist I use to have before I stopped taking their calls... I use my artwork to cope with my depression, the anti-depressant drugs don't work. They only made me feel impotent most of the time...
Anyway, I can't help but feel that I've failed, posting my content on Twitter/X in a way confirmed this or so it made me feel that way. Again I've not been there long enough to really see any progress... But I could never restrict myself or do the whole self-censorship thing. I did it for six years on Pixiv with the whole genitalia censorship nonsense... But I was still free to create whatever I wanted up until those cock suckers stabbed me in the back and threw me in front of a train robbing me of everything I worked so hard for.
